culture

 

I have a few assorted things to say about culture.  Sorry there are no pictures to spice up this post.

1) A lot of stereotypes are largely true.  Austrians really do wait in lines much better than Italians.  Same-sex physical contact really is more common outside of North America and so on and so forth.

Really though, it’s probably only appropriate for me to write about Americans…  Over the last three months many people have mentioned to us the perception that Americans are hyper concerned about safety.  For example we load knives point-down in the dishwasher because we are worried about falling and impaling ourselves.  I don’t know about that scenario, but I generally fit this stereotype perfectly – bike helmets, seatbelts, not smoking, you name it. 

Oh and, in case this wasn’t already clear, I would never dangle from a moving train or climb around on top of it like the kids in Tunis do.  That was hard to watch. 

2) We have spent a few weeks now in places where prices are often not marked, and as I expected, bartering is rough and exhausting.  It can be sort of fun, but only if the item you want is available at stall after stall and it’s not something you really need. 

I’ll admit to a bit of recreational shopping during our time in Boston and I can tell you that having to haggle puts a stop to that desire.  Not only is paying in cash more painful than paying with plastic, but the amount of attention and discussion and pressure and mental math pretty much sucks the joy out of acquiring something new.  It also makes you think about how much something is really worth. 

3) Everyone wants our money and here people are much more direct about it.  Of course there are beggars (no more than in Boston, though) but lately we’ve encountered people who worm their way into a situation where they give us information in order to ask for money.   Now you might say, that sounds fair, why are you complaining?  I’ll tell you.

Here’s what happens.  You’re walking along looking totally American or at least definitely foreign and a guy (always) swoops down on you and begins a continuous stream of polite speech such that you cannot extricate yourself.  You’re following convention and also being polite so you look at him when he speaks to you, answer questions and maybe even walk with him a little a bit because it feels so rude not to when he’s talking to you so nicely.

< BAM  >

You are in his store smelling essences or 5 minutes further into the labyrinth of the medina or aware of two new obvious facts (e.g. this mosaic was made by Romans with marble).  From your perspective you were just being polite by not harshly shutting down a conversation.  From his perspective he just gave you a tour and now you owe him money.

This might sound like an obvious thing that should be easy to avoid, but I’m still having trouble.  Taxi drivers that constantly offer rides are easy.  They are asking you a question and waiting for an answer.  Saying no is easy.  It’s the people who give you something you don’t want that you accidently accept out of courtesy who get me.  In Tunis this happened to us with a museum security guard who showed us a glimpse of a closed portion of the museum.  I was slow to glom on because we were within the ticketed sanctity of a museum, where I thought I knew how things worked.

It’s like a social version of the flower pushers in places like Rome who see a couple and swoop in offering a rose with a flowery gesture, meant to make it seem like a gift.  I need to learn the verbal equivalent of keeping my hands in my pocket to foil these guys.  Right now the two strategies I can think of, which are completely ignoring other human beings or I forcefully interrupting them to say I am not interested, both make me feel like a jerk.

There must be a gracefully way avoid these traps.  From what I have heard, Marrakech, Morocco (tomorrow’s destination) will provide plenty of opportunities to practice.

FORTUNATELY a handful (15%) of the people who have struck up conversations with us have genuinely just been sociable.  I also know it’s not fair to judge a whole culture by the heavily biased selection of people we’ve met.

Casablanca, our current location, is a bit of a break because it is more industrial than touristy.   The majority of people we passed, especially in richer neighborhoods just ignored us, which was great.

One more thing, we’re back to a French speaking country where I contribute some language skills to Team Jack and Cari.  However, Jack’s contributions are possibly more important.  By being a man, he makes things a lot easier for me (from what I read and hear) and he is way quicker to recognize the kind of situations I’ve described AND way less concerned about being polite.  Go team!