Friday, November 30, 2018

two months in to the second time around

 A friend of mine with a personal blog does all of her posts  as a list of three items related to a theme. I find myself thinking up posts with that format now as well, though I often don’t managed to write them.   Now since I am writing this post on my phone, via dictation, I think a nice simple structure is helpful.

Dd is now about two months old.   I have lots to say about our experiences so far but will limit myself to three ways parenting has been different the second time around so far.

1) nursing
Nursing a newborn requires a lot of learning on the part of both the mother and the baby, but this time I was surprised by how much my prior knowledge helped. Dd regained his birth weight a little bit faster than D did.  I was less concerned about the initial pain and more confident that we would get through the tricky beginning phase.

2) confidence
 Many people have told me that their second child was much easier because they weren’t “freaking out about things.”  I bristle a little bit at describing our first parenting experience in that way,  but certainly recognize that we have more confidence this time.    Talking to other new moms I am feeling very grateful for Jack’s competence.   One night a week we’ve been doing a complicated routine where I walk both boys to swimming pool for D’s lesson, then Jack meets us there and we transfer Dd  (often asleep) in the carrier from my body to Jack’s body. Then Jack helps D get dressed while I swim laps and meet them at home for dinner.   I think this is much more than the average first time dad could handle.

3) schedule
Parenthood imposed a higher degree of scheduling on our lives  and most of the schedule marches on despite the fact that I am on maternity leave.  We still have dinner times and bed times and preschool obligations. While I dislike dragging Dd along in the car to drop off D, I feel like the structure and social contact required by D’s life reduces my risk of depression while facing a dark winter with a young baby.


Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Rattlesnake ledge

This has been a good year for hiking with D.  In the space of a few months, the idea of asking to be carried has disappeared from his mind  and we have done several hikes in the 3 mile range.

This past weekend we did his longest hike yet, up hill for two miles and back down again at Rattlesnake Ledge.   The distraction of friends is quite helpful,  but it also adds drama. On this hike there was a lot of interpersonal distress about whether all three kids would hold hands and be a train or whether they would exclude the smallest kid.   I can still hardly believe that we found ourselves saying things like “If you can’t all get along we will have to turn around now and not make it to the top”  when it seems so recent that he was complaining about being tired and unable to go on.

We are so excited to be at the point where D is getting to be a good walker and Dd is still easy to carry.


Tuesday, November 6, 2018

happy Halloween!

This was D’s first time carving pumpkins.  The two part mouth was his idea.

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I didn’t argue when he wanted to wear the ghost costume I made last year for a second time!  His preschool paraded around the block and then we went trick or treating with friends in Leschi again, after eating spooky spaghetti.  It didn’t even start raining until we’d already decided we were done for the night.

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happy birthday, Dad!


A few weeks ago we celebrated my dad’s 70th birthday with brunch at our house.  The fall is the prettiest time of year in our neighborhood, I think, and it’s nice for us to have the motivation to clean off our dining table every now and then and see our house looking closer to the way we envision it.  We made buckwheat waffles and cardamom vanilla waffles with all kinds of toppings.  I’m not a fan of maple syrup so I like the variety and my new favorite topping is applesauce with chunks of candied ginger in it. 

Right, but back to my dear old dad -  we are happy to get to spend regular time with him and our families.  I hope we’re in such a good place when we turn 70, or rather 71 and 70.  We’re at that thought provoking point in life where my parents are twice as old as I am.


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pictures of baby Dd’s first two weeks

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