sometimes people are just rude

 

It’s Sunday morning and we have the day off.  Currently our hosts are eating breakfast (delicious fresh focaccia etc) outside our window with the two new Italian-speaking wwoofers who arrived yesterday.  The four of us wwoofers went over to the kitchen when we woke up.  Jack and I found our normal breakfast of bread and bananas and the two other girls left the kitchen to play with the dogs.  We wondered why they weren’t eating.  Then the husband came back with fresh food for breakfast and they all set down together, pointedly excluding us.

Over the last few days, we’ve been feeling rather unwelcome, but now this gesture makes it clear that we are in fact disliked.  Well, the feeling is mutual.

Permit me to explain… our hosts are a married couple, their four-year-old son and the husband’s father.  The son is charming and the grandfather is extremely nice, but the couple is not.

I’m still willing to forgive the man, because his wife seems to run the show and he barely speaks English.  He has some farm-related vocabulary to tell us what needs to be done, but he understands virtually nothing said to him in English – and yes, we make extraordinary efforts to speak slowly and clearly, for all of you who know us as infamous mumblers.  Jack discovered a few days ago that communication is best when he speaks to the husband in bad Spanish.   Also, this poor guy has to get up at 4:30, four days a week to go to market and then work more when he comes back home.

So, let’s zero in on the person who has really offended us, the wife.  She is Brazilian-Italian and she speaks English pretty well.  Sometimes we have to say things in different ways, but she communicates fine, if she considers you worth talking to.  She is also seven months pregnant, and for about a week I gave her the benefit of the doubt because she must be tired and emotional. 

The first day she worked with us, though understandably she avoids certain types of tasks.  She talked to us some but to give you an idea of how little interest she showed in us, it never came up that we’re traveling for 6 months.  It feels like we were quickly written off for not being interested in the right things or worth talking to.  In fact, I would like to learn about making preserves, Italian cooking, methods for drying foods etc and Jack would like to help on the house that is under construction.  We were judged without a trial, it seems.  I swear we’re not just being petulant.

We work hard and do what we’re told.  I thought it was polite to do what needs to be done, like picking produce for the next market, rather than asking about specific, appealing tasks, but I think that made us boring to her.

The description of the farm says 6-7 hours of work per day.  On Friday, Jack went to market where he stood up from 5 am to 2:30 while I chopped pears, tomatoes and pumpkins, by myself for 8 hours, because the wife would rather be anywhere (in fact on facebook) than with me.  On Saturday, Jack went to market again.

I enjoy much of the work, except when we are asked to work longer hours or when I feel slighted.  That said, while working I do often thing about the food I’m anticipating in exchange. 

The wife cooks alone (perhaps to avoid conversation with us?). A few days ago, the meals stared to peter out.  On Wednesday, they came home later than expected, so there was no dinner.  We figured it out around 8:30 and made ourselves some pasta.  They were apologetic and at that point, I figured they didn’t particularly like or dislike us.  Then on Thursday, they were home the whole evening, but the husband told us around 9 that they weren’t having dinner, so nothing was made.  We gave up and went to bed. 

If anyone is still reading at this point, I’d like to add a note about language.  We are not so self-centered as to think that everyone should speak English – that really isn’t the problem.  When people care to understand, much can be done.  Last night we made dinner conversation for several hours with the grandfather who only speaks Italian (a more positive post about this will follow) and who was kind enough to take us out for pizza.  The wife of this couple is conversationally lazy and too quick to judge us.  We have done our work well and have not said enough for her to have an informed reason to dislike us so much.

I do not appreciate being taken advantage of (by working longer hours, solo) or being treated like a second-class person.

We’re leaving on Wednesday.