Tuesday, April 21, 2015

I have a hobby!

 

I am thrilled to say that I’ve started sailing and will be racing regularly this season.  Setting aside the time and money for a hobby of my own has been on my agenda for a while and this week marks a new beginning.  A lot of the hobbies I imagine myself pursing are solo creative projects, however I find that it’s really hard to set aside the time to do things that are unscheduled and take place at home.  Also, sailing offers the chance to socialize and commune with nature (i.e. disconnect from computers and phones).   Sailing will be my baseball!

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Sunday, April 19, 2015

the state of the vocabulary

D has a pretty good vocabulary for his age (which is almost one).  His intelligible speech really picked up in the middle of March.  It’s really exciting for all of us.

Here’s a list of what he says (that we understand), in descending order of frequency:

  • bus – We live in a bus-watcher’s paradise.  He’s been saying it for about a month now and I’m positive he’s using it appropriately.  Sometimes he points too.  He can’t say the /s/ yet, but then if you took away my top teeth, I probably couldn’t say it either.  We’ve recently introduced the sign [BUS] too though we’re not sure he’s noticed it yet.
  • bye bye – He loves saying this while waving and revels in the delight it gives to adults.  He says it at farewells, but sometimes waits long enough that the intended recipient is already gone.  Once he starts, he won’t stop though.  He says it in an adorably throaty and confident way.  He started about a month ago and used to say it while looking out the window.  Now he pretty much only says it to people, though not exclusively at the time of partings. It makes trips to the store more interesting.
  • book – This one is awesome.  About a month ago he started saying it while looking at books.  At first he said the /k/ but now he doesn’t.  Then I introduced the sign [BOOK] and now he uses it perfectly.  He really loves looking at books now.  At the moment he uses the sign more than the word.
  • hi – He said this a few weeks ago and then stopped, but now is back at it and he’s starting to say it appropriately.
  • baby – He said this when we visited a new baby in the hospital and now says it frequently though we can’t always tell which baby (if any) he is referring to.  We started signing songs and putting “baby Dx-xx” in the lyrics and he loves it.  He says baby and really seems to wish he could sing it with us.
  • ball – This one is pretty recent.  He doesn’t say the /l/ so you have to be listening for it, but he definitely uses it correctly.  We also have introduced the sign [BALL].
  • cat – He’s been saying cat (without the /t/) and kitty cat or kitty (first syllable only) for several months.  The /ki/ of kitty is adorably high pitched.  When we read a book about cats he stops to look for Emo.
  • Dx – I’m not sure about this one, but when we stand in front of the mirror he says the first syllable of his name while grinning at himself.  He’s recognized his name for several months.
  • dad – Along with dada, this has been in his vocabulary for months.  A few months ago he said a nice bye bye dada, but it’s rare and I think he still uses it for more than just the dad concept.
  • mom – Phonetically this was a very early word, but I think he still uses it in distress more than to refer to me.  Jack reports that he says it if I’m gone at bedtime and I hear it occasionally when he wants to get out of the high chair right this second.
  • more – This is an exciting one.  He’s started signing it and last week he even signed more book very clearly!

Notable for their absence are signs for food and milk, two of our more consistently used ASL signs [post: a few ASL signs].  I guess he’s just not that hungry.

For about three weeks now, he’s been pointing at things which is fun.  He also says “huh?” with very clear rising interrogative intonation.

He’s also started shaking his head when we say no and a few months ago he would stop what he was doing sometime when we said a forceful no.  I assume he still understands but just chooses to ignore us.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

three money-saving tips for new parents

 

  1. Get a drain cover so that when your hair falls out post-partum you can save yourself a visit from the plumber.
  2. Buy books at Goodwill for 79¢.  For a little one, it’s easy to quickly pick out cool books among all the holiday and Bible story books that seem to accumulate there.  Where else can you save 95%?
  3. If you’re choosing between daycare and a nanny or nanny share, don’t underestimate just how much your little one will get sick, even if they’re a healthy kid.  We are so lucky that when D is sent home from daycare with a low grade fever, we have help from grandparents so usually we only miss a half-day or day between us.  Missing several days, with no notice would be tough and expensive and I’m pretty sure nannies take care of slightly sick kids all the time. 

Sunday, March 29, 2015

five days away

 

We all grew up a lot this month!  I spent five whole days away from D and Jack, when I went to Montreal for work.  The things I worried about didn’t happen and we all did fine with the separation, but I’m really glad work travel is rare for me.

It was fun to see colleagues from a few years ago and, of course I learned some important things (and some things I should learn more about).   The industry is pretty small, so there were representatives from my time in undergrad, grad school and previous jobs, all mingling together.

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There wasn’t time for tourism, but I got to see one friend for dinner who gave D a great Montreal souvenir - a “Bonjour Hi” drool bib.

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I found myself with a much greater appreciation of Montreal’s famous underground than I ever remember having during my years there.  Perhaps that was because my hotel connected to it directly, unlike the places I lived, so I could actually walk around a bit and buy some Smarties without a coat!

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Monday, March 23, 2015

Two houses, dissimilar in size (and in dignity?)



Cari, D and I were able to go on Saturday to an open house of a project I'd done at work- a very large, expensive spec house with. Good views of lake Washington. This afforded us the opportunity to tromp up and down the stairs and lean on the railings, and imagine what the stairs may be like in our future house (since we will have so many). Also to show D off to some of the people I work with.

We were also excited to finally get an estimate back for our house this weekend (from the same GC that had built the open spec house). Inching slowly forward!

Saturday, March 14, 2015

and they said it would rain…

 

Today D and I took in the St Patrick’s day parade.  Attendance was sparse, perhaps because of the wet weather forecast, but we had a great time.  A parade is the perfect place for a 10-month-old to practice his charming wave!

D agreeably wore his ear protection which I felt good about amid the drums, semi truck horns and marching bands.

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The wind was fierce, making the fur on the Irish setters flow like the flags and banners of the various groups.  I always enjoy seeing the setters and the wolf hounds, but this year I was most impressed by a group of human performers, namely a group of about 40 kids on unicycles.  The youngest looked to be 8 or 9 and some were even on the tall kind of cycles!

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On our walk home, this handsome gent agreed to be in a picture. 

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Lastly, by having my camera in hand I was able to snap a picture of one of the elusive and elite downtown cat-walkers.  In case it’s hard to visually parse, this is a cat watching a parade, on the shoulders of his fur-hatted companion. IMG_5360

Monday, February 16, 2015

Portland pictures

Cari, D, and I had a wonderful time in Portland this weekend.  Spring arrived in the Northwest just in time for a lot of hanging out with friends, walking around, and even a game night (girls beat boys, 32-31… twice).

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We suspect that purple houses and porches may be a Portland thing.

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Friday, February 13, 2015

work: the kind we do for money

 Although I don’t always love it, and I certainly wouldn’t mind a shorter workweek, I really do like my job.

As a new parent, the flexibility of my job is fabulous.  I work from home a little less than half the time, with a team of people spread across several time zones and countries.  There’s an unspoken expectation to let people know if you won’t be available during certain peak hours, but beyond that the start and end times for the day can vary considerably.  This has always been a perk, but now it feels indispensible.  After several years of this, I might be unfit for a more traditional work schedule.

My co-workers are great.  I don’t see most of them outside of work, but I also don’t think that is necessary for good working relationships.   They are simultaneously hardworking and low key.  They are helpful.  There are no difficult egos.  Seriously, the worst thing I can say about anyone is that they might work too hard or have too good a memory for details.

The stress-inducing frequency with which I am contacted by recruiters suggests that I would have a reasonable shot at landing a higher paying job, but the uncertainty of the new team environment encourages loyalty to my current company.

Beyond the flexibility, the people, and the fact that I get paid, I also do really like the industry and the combination of language and technology.  It is still very interesting to me after two years of grad school and six years of work in the field.  Just think, if I had gone for a PhD, I might be finishing now.  No regrets there.

My job is also challenging.

We have to balance research with development deadlines and I’m still learning how to fit in the research when the development part is never done. 

In my group, we build a component model that gets packaged up, tested and deployed to paying customers.  The tools we use to build, test and experimentally improve that component are in-house.  This means that they are fragile, fickle and fussy.  They are a working donkey with a bad attitude, while the final bankable software is a well-groomed, well-exercised racing thoroughbred.

As I work with this donkey, I often find myself in the position where I have to decide whether to ask for help and who to ask.  I ask myself: Is it responsible to keep chipping away at this time consuming problem alone?  Am I likely to be able to figure it out?  Who is likely to know the answer?  Who is likely to be experiencing the same issue?  Should I ask just one person or should I broadcast the question?  How stupid will I look for asking this question?

In real life, I don’t worry that much about looking silly, but at work, it’s harder because how one is perceived really does matter.  As a visible (female) minority, I think I am more conscious of this than most.

An aside about gender: Only about 15% of us are female.  I strongly suspect that this leads to higher visibility, which is both a blessing and a curse.  We’re a large, highly distributed team, as I explained earlier.  By not being a white or asian man (particularly one named after an apostle or having “X” or “Y”  or “Z” in my name), I am more memorable.  If I ask a stupid question, people are more likely to remember it and associate it with me.  Of course, if I do something well, I think they are also more likely to credit me accurately. 

Returning to my point about asking for help with our donkey-like tools, I want to step back in time.

In the 8th grade I was given an award at the end of the year by our social studies teacher, who said something to the effect of “You weren’t afraid to ask questions that benefited the learning of the whole class.”  But work is not school, and the decision of who to ask, is much harder when there is no effectively omniscient teacher (we are talking middle school here). 

Years later, in grad school at a lunch seminar about workplace organizational behavior, I learned that research shows that people ask questions of co-workers they feel more comfortable with rather than person they think is most likely to know the answer.  Social capital means a lot.

I’ve recently had several successful interactions resulting from broadcast emails.  They’ve allowed me to get answers more quickly, learn who else is affected by the same issue and even to share knowledge that I used when trying to figure out a solution.  The responses make me believe they didn’t make look bad and, perhaps best of all, I didn’t squander precious social capital by demanding the time of any one particular person who might not have the time or knowledge to help.  I would rather sacrifice pride in the interest of increasing social capital.

The truth is that most people are in the same boat. 

Saturday, February 7, 2015

winter picnic 2015

We lucked out with a sunbreak today for D’s first winter picnic.  The turn out was pretty good, with several new picnickers.  [previous winter picnic posts 2014, 2013]

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Jack was excited to throw rocks with D. 

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Thursday, February 5, 2015

familiar faces of 1st avenue

A lot of the regulars in our neighborhood make me a little uncomfortable.

However, there are two Spare Change sellers I kind of enjoy seeing. One, pictured below has a quiet dignity and impressive Santa-like beard. He sells at a corner on 1st in front of an empty store front with his own likeness in the window. 


The second is a middle-aged Native American guy who runs (often literally) around on 1st, usually with a football.  

They've both been doing their thing in Pioneer Square longer than our three years in the neighborhood. 

Saturday, January 31, 2015

new camera!

We upgraded and oh, what a difference it makes for our moving subject in our dimly lit environment!

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Also, guess which one of us has a terrible cold and wore shoes to the park for the first time today?

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Friday, January 9, 2015

Viaduct/Alaskan Way tunnel: part 6

It's been about 6 months since my last post [part-5] and it doesn't take a genius to drill down to why the site appears not to have changed much. Bertha's a bit broken bit.

But, the sky looked cool today, after all the stinky fog lifted and they have erected a barricade at the end of the newly built swatch of roadway.


Let's hope that if the Seahawks fans cause another earthquake tomorrow, it doesn't cause all of slowly sinking Pioneer Square to liquefy and return to it's marshy origins.



Monday, January 5, 2015

a day in the life of D

Here is the report for D's first day back at daycare.  Ladies and gentlemen: the story you are about to hear is true.  Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

"D has a great time at school today, he likes to discover his friends' face features by climbing over them poking his finger to every parts which has holes such as mouth / eyes / nose etc. He has fun playing peek-a-boo to his own reflection. He pulls up then benches down to look at the mirror. He repeats the game oftently. He did complain while Sabrina helps him first nap. He refers to rock on teacher's arms, he wakes himself up when placed on the mattress but finally he did sleep. D loves food from home; he has fun playing w/ ball, tossing and chasing the balls. Him and Eliza have the blast together, they play hide and seek and tickle each other w/ hard crunchy laught. Overall, great day!"


Wednesday, December 31, 2014

2014 in review

We are elated and grateful to have a healthy and happy son and to be going through this new chapter of life together.  What could be better?
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Words for the year
  • “partnership” – Sometimes it feels like every shower, workout and minute of sleep (etc.) requires the buy-in of the other parent.
  • “instincts” - It's easy not to notice our instincts until they are at odds with our intellect.  Two examples of these (stressful) moments that come to mind for me are trying to work remotely while someone else cares for your 3 month old and letting him cry in the car because you know you have to get somewhere.
Dwellings, Jobs and Money
  • We moved to our first (and last?) two-bedroom apartment in May.  It also has two bathrooms so we upgraded to a cat genie self-cleaning litter box!   
  • We got our building permit for our futurehouse [link].  Jack put in a lot of hours, amid the regular business of life.
  • I got a promotion at work and am fighting the mommy track.
  • We are enjoying some rare, debt-free time before taking on a construction loan.
Family and Friends
  • Surrounding D’s arrival, we were in touch with pretty much everyone we know, which was wonderful.  The birth itself was great [link].
  • We’ve made new friends [link], especially through PEPS.
  • Along with my family, we finally scattered the ashes of my grandma, grandpa and uncle.
  • Our parents have become awesomely helpful and enthusiastic grandparents.
  • Emo continues to impress us with her supreme feline patience.  D is all over her.
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  • Becky and Alyson threw us a sweet baby shower [link] and we’ve received so many gifts of time and thoughtful baby things.
  • My sister and B.I.L. visited from Boston in the fall.  I call this picture “Northwest Family Living.”
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  • We celebrated 7 separate family Christmases [link]
  • D’s first road trip was to attend a cousin’s high school graduation in Idaho.
Weddings and Babies and Milestones
  • R&A in Honolulu [link, link], K&M in Montreal [link]
  • 2014 babies: cousin Helen to A&R, Ahsoka to B&F, cousin Zach to J&A, Harper to T&J, Jimmy to E&R, Eloise to Y&M, Claudia to S&J, Lincoln to S&K, Logan to J&D, Drew to R&J, Jack to K&B, Aria to E&J
  • Jack turned 30!
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Recreation and Travel
  • Jack tied for the highest number of walks (at bat) in the PSSBL.  He plays smart!
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  • We upgraded to a 4-person tent, which we used at Larrabee State Park, in July.  We did one nice hike there [hiking report 4].
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  • Near Mount Rainier, we camped with Cari’s extended family.
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  • We wrested our family pickle ball title back from Jack’s uncles, in the summer.
  • D, Cari and Janet flew to Boston to visit D’s aunt and uncle [link].
Books, Events and Food
  • Best books read aloud: The Little Blue Truck has been read quite a bit, but I’m going to have to go with the third, fourth and fifth books (Young and Revolting, Revoltingly Young, Son of Youth in Revolt) in the absurdist fiction series about Nick Twisp, written by C.D. Payne. 
  • So far, D, is a great eater.  He just needs some teeth.
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  • We went to a summer M’s game, complete with good friends and a fireworks show [link]
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  • The best live entertainment, in a year with relatively few contenders, was a recent night at Comedy Underground, thanks to Groupon.
  • Jack “discovered” the pleasure and utility of audiobooks, after years of hanging around me…
Personal Growth
  • I seem to add new foods to my edible list at a rate of one per year.  This year I added shrimp and prawns, though I’m not ready for legs yet.  I also ate, and liked sardines.
  • Having a baby has vastly increased my dependency on my phone.  Staying in touch with Jack and care providers is way more important to me than most communication, and while breastfeeding I have increased my time spent reading, texting and shopping on my phone by a factor of 100.
  • We finally grew up enough to have a standby chicken recipe that I made numerous times. It’s a yogurt, lemon, parmesan, panko topping on oven-baked chicken breast.
  • We conquered some fears including birth and sleep deprivation. We are tired but even at the worst moments, it hasn’t been as bad as I worried it would be.
  • The inhibitions I used to have about singing in front of Jack are kaput. Babies require lots of songs!

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

swimming in accessories

For Christmas, Jack's dad and step mom, gave me a very thoughtful gift of an underwater mp3 player.  I used it yesterday and it was great.  Swimming is good in many ways, but it can get boring and I definitely felt more energized.  Hopefully this will help me work up to longer workouts.

So, now, when I swim, I wear:
  1. a swim suit - Because, obviously.
  2. a cap - I have to get special long hair caps for my large cranium.
  3. prescription goggles - I just got these in the last year or so.  They work really well and weren't expensive.
  4. prescription earplugs - I've relied on these since I was about 13.  While, I don't wear them for "social" swimming, they are essential for athletic swimming where I have to turn my head just so.  I might have outgrown the frequent infections that prompted the plugs, but now they're just a habit.
  5. an mp3 player - It uses bone conduction, to pump music into my ears through my cheekbones.  How cool is that?
Note that I do not have, not do I intend to acquire, any pictures of myself wearing all of this paraphernalia.  Just use your imagination and be glad I don't wear a nose plug...

Sunday, December 28, 2014

D’s first (seven) Christmases

[♬ sing to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas, substituting a full name for “D” ♬]

At the first family Christmas, our darling son Dxxx, talked with ONE younger cousin.

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At the second family Christmas, our darling son Dxxx, thrilled TWO cooing aunties.

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At the third family Christmas, our darling son Dxxx, ate THREE new foods (scallops, asparagus and cauliflower).

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At the fourth family Christmas, our darling son Dxxx, wore FOUR types of dinos.

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At the fifth family Christmas, our darling son Dxxx, walked FIVE holes on the golf course.

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At the sixth family Christmas, our darling son Dxxx, scored at least SIX points with his jersey.

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At the seventh family Christmas, our darling son Dxxx, stood up SEVEN times (or more).

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Thanks to all of our wonderful PNW families for a busy but lovely Christmas.  We’re lucky to have you.