thoughts on childcare

This is the first month in our parenting career where one of our kids is enrolled in full time childcare.   

I’ve been through quite an evolution in my thoughts on daycare.  Initially it made me a little sad to send D, and I do still think there are some dismal childcare situations out there.  Now, however, I feel bad for the kids (over age one) who are missing out on the consistent, group experience.  In the time before preschool age there is so much to be gained!

That said, the social benefits of childcare definitely don’t depend on full time attendance, so that part is about families making it work, like us, right now.

We have been so lucky for so many years to have regular help from our parents.  Having grandparents help 1-2 days a week balanced routine social time with other kids with one-on-one attention and flexibility.   Together our parents and the kids (hardly ever both kids, due to timing) read lots of  books, went on adventures, napped according to our kid’s needs and gave us the chance to go to mid day music classes or the library.  They also did loads of dishes and laundry :)

It’s sad that this is over, at least for a while longer.  Dd knows his grandparents well, but I hope they gets the bond that D has, from regular time together without the interference of me and Jack (well, mostly).

However, in a time where childcare centers, which already struggled (being simultaneously expensive for many families and not being able to pay workers well enough), are closing left and right because of COVID-19 challenges, we feel so extremely fortunate to be part of a center that is well-run, convenient, cheerful and reliable.  It is not only shielding us from some unknown upheaval of our careers and finances, but it is providing Dd with developmentally key normalcy in this bizarre reality.

Speaking of reality, this full time thing is still theoretical.  The last week of August was the center's annual closure week for cleaning, organizing and planning.  Since Labor Day the kids have been kept inside because of the air quality and perhaps this lack of outside time is the cause of the longest nap mutiny I’ve heard of in any of the classrooms.   Dd has skipped napping altogether a few days and had several days with 30 minute naps instead of his typical 1.5 hour school nap.   Then Monday's air quality was so bad that we kept him home because the center didn’t yet have air filters.  Today he is home, and currently in the bath, with a runny nose that would not prevented him from attending school during normal times.   

But hey, I already took some time off this week in anticipation of another little vacation that is delayed (or cancelled?) because..... it's 2020.

Since we no longer go inside the center for drop off or pick up they've been good about sending us pictures more often.  Here are a few recent ones.

Lastly, D, who was originally signed up for seven weeks of camp this summer, got to go to five weeks of summer camp.   Two were at the science center and the rest were at or near the arboretum.  There were a few covid scares that turned out to be nothing, but we were so extremely grateful he got to go out and do things away from us before diving back into another at-home school year.

I get a good laugh when I remember worrying in February about the one week of summer we hadn't yet filled with a camp for D.  

2020 smoke

 Dang, what a week it’s been. Today during dinner, the sun simply disappeared in the smoke as it set.  It’s been smokey since the 7th and we are not done yet.   With the windows closed our third flood is easily above 90 degrees so we ate takeout in the entry one evening. Seattle has not quite made it in to the hazardous level (dark purple) but has been ‘very unhealthy’ for days.  At least it’s not as hot anymore.

I’m grateful we have our house, our air filters from previous wildfire smoke years and our elliptical so we can be active.  Even with the filters we have experienced some headaches and sore throats, which is nothing relative to the lot of many others in the PNW.  

happy birthday, Jack

We gave Jack some nice boots (Bogs!) and a French press, completing his evolution into a level four coffee drinker, capable of making coffee in every way I’m aware of: cold brew, pour over, drip and press.  

His birthday fell exactly on Labor Day so we spent the morning at Grayland Beach State Park, where we spent two nights in a yurt, and gave him a half hour alone in a hammock with a good book!

We had a backyard dinner with Jack’s family and came home to the first forest fire smoke of the season.

1st grade!

D went to His first day of school today without going... to school. 2020 is something else.  He is in a 1st/2nd split class and his morale was good for the 2 hour social MS teams meeting and his independent reading afterwards.  I’m still impressed by his reading progress during the last 6 months - he is reading Calvin and Hobbes!

window washing wonders

 In the month of August, in the infamous year 2020, we washed allllll the windows in our house.

We have 75 window panes in our house.  Jack reminds me that technically the window is the manufactured unit, which in our house as 1-3 different panes of glass, but when you're washing that distinction doesn't feel important.   So, we have 75 windows.  Don't forget to double that to get 150 surfaces, inside and out!

This is the first time we've made an effort to actually do all of them, although we've been in the house for four years now.   At first, life was too crazy, then the windows leaked and over the course of the four stints of repair work, the window guys cleaned them at the end of their work.   The saga of the leaky windows is one I haven't had the heart to detail here yet.  Other excuses for not washing them, include being pregnant and having 18 months of construction followed by 3-4 months of road paving and repaving happening across the street or mere inches from our house, which resulted in a discouraging amount of dust, and caused us to delay cleaning the outside of the windows.  

Lastly there is the question of how to go about washing windows in our tall house.   We designed the house with a lot of operable windows, to allow for washing, and for many windows it works well, but there are still a lot of awkward angles and obstacles.  We've acquired quite a bit of equipment now, including two 16' poles, a reverse squeegee that we had to piece together ourselves and even a window washing bucket, which was well worth the money compared to using a glass baking dish.  

The "reverse squeegee" or "push squeegee" is a product I am surprised doesn't exist.   Jack used it to squeegee the third floor windows while standing on the roof.  It worked reasonably well.

Someday I am going to actually get an estimate for paying someone to clean these windows, so we can feel really, really good about the effort it takes.  Also, as I knew when we designed the house, even if you pay to have them cleaned, there is no guarantee a bird won't poop on them the very next day.

The last obstacle, beyond the right gear and technique, is the timing.  We use hot water and vinegar and avoid direct light on the windows.  Of course you also don't want it to be raining when you swing the windows open wide.  Also, we don't really want Dd around because a lot of the windows are a bit scary and we don't normally open them for ventilation.  All this means that we cleaned the windows over the course of 6-7 sessions this month, and I washed some of the inside windows in the dark.  

In conclusion, I'm glad we did all of them relatively close together so that we know they've been done.  I think most of the time, we'll just wash the ones that are bothering us.  There's one more type of squeegee and pole I'd like to buy to make certain types of windows easier.  I'm curious to see how much better and faster we will get at this, as we go.  

it's always a good time to have cats

Our cats get plenty of attention and Dd, at 1 year 10 months is mostly able to pet them in an acceptable way and he shares his interests with them, such as food and trucks.  I know the internet is lacking in cat pictures, so here are a few from this summer.

Also here's a helpful size comparison and a search-and-find activity.

do in the time of coronavirus

Cari has been cutting my hair for the past... 14 years.  I have not been to a barber since 2006

Even though I have been asking to cut her hair the whole time, she never took me seriously until this week.  

Ok, she cleaned it up a bit after I finished, but still= I cut off about 5".  Next time, who knows how much I will cut off!!

kitchen cart

As an early birthday present Jack found and modified the perfect sized bar cart for the gap we intentionally left in the kitchen cabinets when we planned out the kitchen over four years ago.  The idea is to bring it up to the roof when we eat up there, though I can see lots of uses for it, even on the third floor. It’s got nice butcher block and a compost compartment. 

Mo reading, Mo better

What a joy it is to hear D read this (Mo Willems) book to Dd, on repeat.  This is a new copy because when D was little we read our first copy to shreds. 

Meanwhile, D is reading me a chapter book about hamster Humphrey right now!

Also pictured is D’s experimental corona cut!

Birthday treat for the cats

Toru and Luna turned three this month. D wanted to celebrate so we took them out in the yard for a treat.   Toru was quite at home and Luna was pretty excited to stick her nose out and eventually stepped out for all of one minute. 

pizza at home.... finally

We've vastly improved at making pizza at home, thanks to these pizza racks I found at Grocery Outlet a while ago.  Just a few years ago I was forgetting to take the dough out of the fridge to allow time to rise and we were making soggy rectangular pizzas directly on cookie sheets, or trying to move them off the cookie sheet and directly on to the oven rack, with limited success.   These pans make it easy. 

I've also started making the dough instead of buying it at Trader Joe's and have finally come to understand just how expensive buying pizza from a nice pizza place is, relative to making it at home.   Everyone is happy when we make it at home.  Dd even says "pizza" now.

never call him "Big D"

I hate to pidgeonhole the kids but Dd is gloriously large and since he's so young I think it's still okay to talk about it without giving him a complex.   Also, I promise to stop comparing the kids to each other .... any minute.

At birth Dd was larger than average but not exceptionally big and actually Dd's birth weight was a pound less than his older brother (D was 9 lb 15 oz at birth and 20.5 inches and Dd was only 8 lb 14 oz and 20 inches).

However, by the age of two months, Dd soared past D on both height and weight to be in the 97th percentile on height and the 86th percentile on weight.  One month ago at his 18th month check-up he was a nicely proportional 97-99th percentile on height, weight and head size.  This makes him the size of an average three year old.  (https://www.cdc.gov/growthcharts/data/set1clinical/cj41c021.pdf)

Our kids have some tall genes at work from Jack's dad's side of the family, but we have many tall friends with tall kids so at each doctor visit Dd's percentiles, which are based on global statistics, still surprise me a bit.

Being the second baby, I nursed Dd better from the start and he lost less weight than D did in the week after birth.   We also started him on solids at 4 months instead of 6 months like we did with D and Dd took to solid food quite well.   On the other hand, poor D was sooo hungry at 6 months and although my milk supply kept up (I remember bringing in about 30 oz of milk a day to his daycare) I think he would have benefited from earlier solids too.   The medical advice on allergies has changed to support earlier introduction.  Dd started with pea soup and watery peanut butter, with antihistamines standing by (thankfully unused).

Dd didn't gag or reject any type of food until recent months with his increased ability to make his demands known.  Both kids got teeth fairly late but it was truly impressive to see what Dd could handle in his 8 months of eating solids with zero teeth.   With D we made and served more special, limited ingredient foods and with Dd we fully embraced the "baby lead weaning" method, which just means we encouraged him to eat what we were eating, as independently as possible, without letting him choke.    I think the amount of time baby Dd observed the rest of us eating before he got his shot at food also contributed to his readiness.   Then again, maybe it just boils down to appetite.

Coronavirus 2

Surprising no one, the state "stay home" order is extended from April 27  to May 4.


April 6: Dd's daycare re-opens with an impressive batch of new protocols.  The UW Covid 19 model is predicting that the state "peak hospital resources" will be about April 16.   We decide to keep Dd home another week, at least.

April 8: I sew two masks and we start wearing them when we go to the store.  It's been kind of wild to watch the official reversal on mask wearing recommendations.

Activities of Late

- recorders
- the roof
- bubbles
- exercise rings and the rowing machine
- jumping on our bed (which is still a mattress on the floor) is daily activity
- Dd is now pretty much trusted when playing with legos
- biking with D's new gear bike or the ride along and Dd's new weehoo trailer
- watching the new neighbors moving in to the north and south of us (so far three households of the new townhouses and one out the kitchen windows).
- finished the 3rd book from the Space Case series with D
- D reading Frog and Toad books
- annoying singing dog toy that both kids love
- a bit of kids' yoga and dance videos

April 13: the trucks are back, after a week-long shutdown, to ripping up our street and alley, which makes for good entertainment.   The sugar ants are also back, for the third spring in a row.   I really don't like it but this year offers some perspective on what really matters.

April 15: we do not go to San Francisco or change our alter our new routine with  a"spring break"

April 16: Dd and I go to his 18 month appointment for four vaccinations.  He won't need anything but a flu shot and hopefully a coronavirus vaccination until kindergarten!

April 20: Dd goes to daycare.   After five weeks away drop off is tough but he reportedly rallies quickly and seems to be happy at the end of the day and when we glimpse him at recess.

April 22: D bakes a "wacky" cake with my parents over Skype.  I open the oven but otherwise mostly stay out of the way.  We've also had success with him reading to them.  I figure him spelling out tricky words to them is good for their brains too.

April 26: the ants are still here, but diatomaceous earth is working pretty well and it's non-toxic!  In a pandemic, who cares if our doorstep looks like it's covered in flour and pancake batter (when it rains)?

April 27: this is the beginning of our 7th week home with D and the 3rd week where his teacher provides content.   I'm happy that we don't have to worry about grading at the kindergarten level.   What she provides is now 3 video lessons a week (totaling about 45 min), and two zoom meetings for the whole class.  This week they will try small group reading.   Other than that he does independent reading, reading to someone and we read to him.   He uses an online practice site that the school provides access too that covers math, language arts and a bit of social studies.  Usually he does one or two topics there.  He's done two Outschool classes so far, which are video lessons in real time with a few other kids.   There's a site where astronauts read books in space and another where actors read books which are lightly animated while the test is highlighted.  There are also a few more game-like practice sites we've used but it is really overwhelming to look through them and many are really crappy.   He writes in a journal everyday.  We've had a lot of really interesting conversations with him and I'm grateful for all the books we have, the many entertaining and enriching gifts the kids have received (like the kiwi crates) and the filtered recommendations people like my mom have given us. 

Also, so far our families and friends are okay.


Here are some fun writing sample's from D. 

Spring 2020 gardening

Here's an update on our gardening efforts, with links and plant names so I don't have to search my emails for them anymore....

On The Ground

We transplanted a black currant from a neighbor.  Hopefully it gets enough sun on the north side of our fence.

I was sooo excited to get some big rocks from a construction site in West Seattle after the garbage truck and other construction trucks pulverized part of our parking strip starting in January (and several more times in February...).   Then someone took our rocks!  These rocks were all I could manage while using a car and a dolly so it's not like someone just causally carried them down the street.

The garbage truck driver's job was made more difficult by the months-long process of pouring new concrete on half the street and several sidewalk curb cuts, so maybe it was him?  Jack thinks that the street inspector told the paving contractors to remove the rocks because they were taken in the middle of the afternoon while the inspectors and contractors were around. 

Over the winter I put in some paving stones in the parking strip and a few months ago we put up the birdhouse we painted over the winter.

Last year the Japanese snowbells bloomed in late May, so we are still looking forward to that.  The daphne  was so much better this year (this pic is from before it bloomed) and the creeping jenny is just the right thing for the shady under-tree, crap soil area.  Below the daphne is some aggressive oregano which makes weeding smell great.

This is not our cat, but he's a frequent sight in our neighborhood.  We call him (or her?) Shoes.

On The Roof

The high country blueberry bush planted in spring 2019 has been joined by a little bluegold blueberry bush and I hope this results in more berries.   I'm encouraged by all the blooms.

I bought some pink coral bells and put two down on the parking strip and three on the roof.   The latest round of construction work has been a three-weeks-and-counting job where they are putting down conduit for comcast in our alley, the street, and the alley to the north.   They further tore up the grass and killed another coral bell plant I'd just put in, a rather sorry sarcococca plant and a new catmint plant.

Also on the roof I planted pale evening primrose (white buttercup sundrops) from seed, a hayscented fern, a big bluestem grass, and several blue false indigo baptisia australis.

I got some lettuce and cauliflower plants and planted more kale and spinach from seed, as well as some onions and carrots for the first time.

For the cats we put in some seeds for a nicer cat grass and cat nip.  Toru spends quite a bit of time on the roof, even when it's cold.   He almost always follows us up there too.  Luna comes up occasionally, when it's warm, though she still insists on struggling to open the cat door with her paw instead of just pushing through it.

We've got parsley and cilantro self seeding, which is just fine by me.  Our delicious chocolate mint plant continues to thrive (surprising no one) and many bulbs from last year came up again.  I think they're hyacinths and ornamental onions, but we'll see when they bloom.   The pansies are self-sufficient and pretty, so I like them.

D is a good garden helper.

Coronavirus 1: our local timeline

Even though we're all going through this at more or less the same time, I want to record our descent into isolation.  We're fortunate to both able to work remotely and our house is a lot more spacious than many dwellings (including our previous apartment, which I have been contemplating).     Thanks to the writers of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2020_coronavirus_pandemic_in_Washington_(state).   Thank you also to the health care providers out there.

December 2019: I read about the mystery virus in the New York Times and think "huh, that's bad"

December 24, 2019: Dd has hand foot and mouth disease so we exercise our social distancing.

January 21: Washington announces the first case of coronavirus in the state.

February: Fortuitously we have all kinds of mundane health appointments like our dentist and optometrists and a few visits for the kids.   We also see most of our families at rescheduled Christmases and the Winter Picnic. 

February (late): Scientists put together that the virus has been circulating in the area for the past 6 weeks and announce the first few deaths from it.   We realize school will close eventually.

March 4: This is The Last Normal Day.  Jack goes to work, D goes to school, Dd goes to daycare and I work at home.   Grandma Kathy helps out a bit after school.

March 9: My parents babysit Dd, for what turns out to be the last time in a while.

March 11: Wednesday.  Seattle Public Schools announces a two week closure, starting on the 12th.

March 12: Governor Inslee mandates closure of all schools in King, Pierce and Snohomish Counties for six weeks.

March 13: Friday.  Actually now all schools in the state must be closed until at least April 24th.   Daycare are not required to close.  We don't find out for sure that Dd's will close until late in the day on the 13th.  They say it is for two weeks, but we are skeptical.  This is the most stressful day so far.   We've pretty much decided not to have play dates with other kids because we are worried about our parents and kids are often symptom-less carriers (or so the current understanding is) and our kids are prone to wrestle with friends and put their hands in their mouths.

I get to swim at the YMCA, though I am surprised it is open.  The libraries and community centers are open for the last time.

March 14: we have a babysitter (!) and J and I take a wonderful bike ride and carefully stop by our neighborhood bar (for my first time and probably our last for a very long time)

March 15:  We have a long overdue visit with Jack's step mom at our house and decide to call off help from all grandparents for the week ahead.   Closure of restaurants and gyms is announced.

March 16:  Monday.  It's our first day working with both kids at home.  We realize we are now homeschooling and will need to do a bit more than the "little extra reading" we planned during the initially announced two week closure.   There are sooo many lists of resources.  It is overwhelming.

March 19: Playgrounds and big toys close.   We've been avoiding them for a few days and it's a necessary step for all of us.

D is writing a journal entry every school day and today's was about how he only learns things from Octonauts (the TV show) anyway, so the school closure.   Dd's comment is "truck, truuuck, truck.... BUS" while looking out the window, followed by "cool car" about the little car he and D push around the house and ride on.  He also now says "I don't know," which is adorable.

Dd also requests many specific books including a potty book that Jack and I could recite verbatim last time around.  Today he sat on the potty without being distressed for the first time.   Maybe we'll get at least the smelly part of potty training turn during this time at home.

We did not work near enough hours but we survived the week.

March 21: we socially distance with my sister at a beach park

March 22:  I give D a Mohawk, naturally.