The weekend before the Texas wedding, Cari and I attended Porter and Kami’s wedding at the Center For Wooden Boats, and had a wonderful time. And we didn’t JUST go as guests- we were Performers! Asked to prepare a little something for between delicious courses to keep the guests entertained, we crafted the puppets (their arms swing) you see above, and the four of us got up and gave a little presentation about Porter and Kami, limerick style.
CARI
There was a lad from Normandy Park,
who oft round the world would embark.
This wood boat fanatic
slept up in the attic
and collected car plates for a lark.
JACK
The lady of the house was named Trish.
Her son’s misdemeanors she did squish.
She taught him to behave
so he wouldn’t be a knave
for a chivalrous child was her wish.
CARI
There once was a girl from Sammamish
who despite three brothers did not famish.
She learned how to share
and made it her affair
at work down by the Duwamish.
KAMI
I like to get off the beaten trail.
Exotic trips are my holy grail.
My mission was in Thailand-
not some pristine island-
I’m outgoing on a global scale.
JACK
But Porter only wanted a date
with a girl who could run hours straight.
Additionally LDS?
He found to his distress
That few young women share both those traits!
PORTER
I felt that the clock was tick ticking
for me to find love that was sticking.
The singles ward agreed
that soon I’d be a weed
urgently in need of picking.
PORTER
Why is it that when one is 30
He’s suddenly regarded as dirty?
But for me, luckily
I dodged ignominy
by finding a girl who is purty
CARI
He first noticed her speaking at church
and he sat on the edge of his perch
She was smart and stunning!
Who cares about running?
Could she be the object of his search?
PORTER
Because in the past I’ve been scarred,
I subtly requested her card.
I planned to take it slow
but then I was like ‘whoah!”
and I yearned to secure her regard
KAMI
The first date wasn’t a ten.
I was ambivalent about going again
but Porter persisted
and soon he had twisted
another assignation
PORTER
Just as my spirits were dropping
I thought of a date that is hopping.
Putting my skills to test
Kami must be impressed
Yes! I will invite her bike shopping!
CARI
The single greatest fear of Kami’s
as she cozies up in her jammies
is the feeling of cold
as we have all been told.
She needs a climate akin to Miami’s
CARI
And now that Porter she did choose
She would really like to disabuse
That pernicious notion
that because she is frozen
She loves him for his BTUs
JACK
Now Kami works at a charity.
But is she set for the hilarity
of how much Porter eats?
After athletic feats?
He’d devour the food bank summarily!
CARI
So they commenced a blissful romance
Life became like a wonderful dance
Porter readied the ring
A healthy chunk of bling
And began to await his big chance
PORTER
One fine day I suggested a hike
It was as perfect as you could like
But the summit was cold
I opted to withhold
I looked for another time to strike.
JACK
After Kami’s roommate finally did leave
The proposal song she did receive
The tune ‘marry me Kami’
really should win a Grammy
in ‘best sentiment he can conceive.’
CARI
We wish them the very best in life
Love and joy, trust and fun, never strife.
Dear Porter- you are blessed
And marriage is the best
In Kami you have found a great spouse.
It went very well: we even had to pause a few times for laughter. Even better, we went first and so got to go on before this:
CARI
There was a lad from Normandy Park,
who oft round the world would embark.
This wood boat fanatic
slept up in the attic
and collected car plates for a lark.
JACK
The lady of the house was named Trish.
Her son’s misdemeanors she did squish.
She taught him to behave
so he wouldn’t be a knave
for a chivalrous child was her wish.
CARI
There once was a girl from Sammamish
who despite three brothers did not famish.
She learned how to share
and made it her affair
at work down by the Duwamish.
KAMI
I like to get off the beaten trail.
Exotic trips are my holy grail.
My mission was in Thailand-
not some pristine island-
I’m outgoing on a global scale.
JACK
But Porter only wanted a date
with a girl who could run hours straight.
Additionally LDS?
He found to his distress
That few young women share both those traits!
PORTER
I felt that the clock was tick ticking
for me to find love that was sticking.
The singles ward agreed
that soon I’d be a weed
urgently in need of picking.
PORTER
Why is it that when one is 30
He’s suddenly regarded as dirty?
But for me, luckily
I dodged ignominy
by finding a girl who is purty
CARI
He first noticed her speaking at church
and he sat on the edge of his perch
She was smart and stunning!
Who cares about running?
Could she be the object of his search?
PORTER
Because in the past I’ve been scarred,
I subtly requested her card.
I planned to take it slow
but then I was like ‘whoah!”
and I yearned to secure her regard
KAMI
The first date wasn’t a ten.
I was ambivalent about going again
but Porter persisted
and soon he had twisted
another assignation
PORTER
Just as my spirits were dropping
I thought of a date that is hopping.
Putting my skills to test
Kami must be impressed
Yes! I will invite her bike shopping!
CARI
The single greatest fear of Kami’s
as she cozies up in her jammies
is the feeling of cold
as we have all been told.
She needs a climate akin to Miami’s
CARI
And now that Porter she did choose
She would really like to disabuse
That pernicious notion
that because she is frozen
She loves him for his BTUs
JACK
Now Kami works at a charity.
But is she set for the hilarity
of how much Porter eats?
After athletic feats?
He’d devour the food bank summarily!
CARI
So they commenced a blissful romance
Life became like a wonderful dance
Porter readied the ring
A healthy chunk of bling
And began to await his big chance
PORTER
One fine day I suggested a hike
It was as perfect as you could like
But the summit was cold
I opted to withhold
I looked for another time to strike.
JACK
After Kami’s roommate finally did leave
The proposal song she did receive
The tune ‘marry me Kami’
really should win a Grammy
in ‘best sentiment he can conceive.’
CARI
We wish them the very best in life
Love and joy, trust and fun, never strife.
Dear Porter- you are blessed
And marriage is the best
In Kami you have found a great spouse.
It went very well: we even had to pause a few times for laughter. Even better, we went first and so got to go on before this:
Yeah, but ours was poetry. POETRY!
Pure Poetry! Very cute.
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